Why
Some People Quit And Some People NEVER Give Up
By Tom Venuto, CSCS, NSCA-CPT
Throughout my 18 years
in the fitness industry as a trainer, nutrition consultant and
motivational coach, I have noticed that some people who start
a nutrition and exercise program give up very easily after hitting
the first obstacle they encounter. If they feel the slightest
bit of discouragement or frustration, they will abandon even their
biggest goals and dreams.
On the other hand,
I noticed that some people simply NEVER give up. They have ferocious
persistence and they never let go of their goals. These people
are like the bulldog that refuses to release its teeth-hold on
a bone. The harder you try to pull the bone out of his mouth,
the harder the dog chomps down with a vice-like grip.
What's the difference
between these two types of people? Psychologists say there is
an answer.
An extremely important
guideline for achieving fitness success is the concept that, "There
is no failure; only feedback. You don't "fail", you
only get results."
This is a foundational
principle from the field of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP),
and the first time I ever heard it was from peak performance expert
Anthony Robbins back in the late 1980's. It's a principle that
stuck with me ever since, because it's a very, very powerful shift
in mindset.
A lot of people will
second-guess themselves and they'll bail out and quit, just because
what they try at first doesn't work. They consider it a permanent
failure, but all they need is a little attitude change, a mindset
change, or what we call a "reframe."
Instead of saying,
"This is failure" they can say to themselves, "I
produced a result" and "This is only temporary."
This change in perspective is going to change the way that they
feel and how they mentally process and explain the experience.
It turns into a learning opportunity and valuable feedback for
a course correction instead of a failure, and that drives continued
action and forward movement.
It's all about your
results and your interpretation of those results
Dr Martin Seligman,
a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, did
some incredible research on this subject and wrote about it in
his book, Learned Optimism. Dr. Seligman noticed that the difference
between people who give up and people who persist and never quit
is what he referred to as "explanatory style." He said
that explanatory style is the way we explain or interpret bad
events or failures.
People who habitually
give up have an explanatory style of permanence. For example,
they hit a plateau in their progress and explain it by saying,
"diets never work" or "I have bad genetics so I'll
always be fat." These explanations imply permanence.
Other people hit the
same plateaus and encounter the same challenges, but explain them
differently. They say things such as, "I ate too many cheat
meals this week," or "I haven't found the right diet
for my body type yet." These explanations of the results
imply being temporary.
People who see negative
results as permanent failure are the ones who give up easily and
often generalize their "failure" into other areas of
their lives and even into their own sense of self. It's one thing
to say, "I ate poorly this past week because I was traveling,"
(a belief about temporary behavior and environment), and to say,
"I am a fat person because of my genetics" (a belief
about identity with a sense of permanence). Remember, body fat
is a temporary condition, not a person!
People who see challenges
and obstacles as temporary and as valuable learning experiences
are the ones who never quit. If you learn from your experiences,
not repeating what didn't work in the past, and if you choose
to never quit, your success is inevitable.
About
the Author:
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Tom Venuto is a lifetime natural
bodybuilder, an NSCA-certified personal trainer (CPT), certified
strength & conditioning specialist (CSCS), and author
of the #1 best-selling e-book, "Burn
the Fat, Feed The Muscle.” Tom has written hundreds
of articles and has been featured in print magazines such
as IRONMAN, Australian IRONMAN, Natural Bodybuilding, Muscular
Development, Exercise for Men and Men’s Exercise, as
well as on hundreds of websites worldwide. For information
on Tom's Fat Loss program, click
here.
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